Unannounced visits
November 24, 1998
Hoi…..
One of the most embarrassing situations my wife would not want to get
caught in is having a messy house when visitors drop by unannounced. I
can't blame her after all who wants to be queen of a pigsty anyway. But
like any normal family with a household of four children, there are many
times when the house is not in tiptop shape.
Just so I won't get a bad rapport from readers who share this tale with my
wife, I must say the lady of the house does keep our humble abode rather
tidy! Some of you may call this "damage control" but call it what you
want…. I'll be the one in the doghouse if I say something to the effect
that she was a lousy housekeeper!
One of the most beautiful customs the Chamorro people have is coming to
your house unannounced. It really does not matter what time of the day or
night it is and it also doesn't matter if you're having supper or just
heading out to go shopping. Visiting each other for whatever reason is a
good enough excuse to pay a visit.
The Chamorro culture, in my opinion, is so humble and forgiving. So much
that you can predict what your mom and her guest would say upon the
unannounced visit. The following is a conversation regarding the previous
sentence.
(Translated into English) Lady of the House: It's so nice to see you again,
it's been a long time. Visitor: I was just in the area and wanted to see
how you were doing (you must take note that most visits occur right around
a meal time usually catching you off guard i.e. no more rice, out of spam
etc.) LH: I'm so sorry my house is a mess right now V: It's okay, you
should see MY house…it's worse! Ha! These are the lines used, which
normally start out the conversation.
The host of the unannounced visitor has an "obligation" according to
custom. The first is to offer a beverage or water. The second is to offer
the person to stay for the meal or to join in the meal. If the food is not
enough, the host will "sacrifice" his or her share of the meal and offer it
to the guest while at the same time sharing a smile despite the hunger
pangs within! Our custom of sharing what we have is in many ways a very
humbling gesture of appreciation to our guest.
Having just come back from a two day visit to Tinian (an island north of
Guahan) I must say the culture is alive and well in our northern cousins.
My brother in law, Jun and I, taking advantage of a special airfare to
Tinian, decided to drop in and visit his brothers whom he hasn't seen in
three years. We made a call from the airport and they immediately came to
pick us up. It was nine o'clock in the morning and we wanted to visit the
cemetery and tour some other landmarks before lunchtime.
Jun's brother, Humphrey made sure we came back to his house for lunch after
our tour. Upon our arrival in time for lunch we noticed a feast fit for
kings prepared for us at almost a moments notice. Our menu consisted of a 3
pound lagua (parrotfish), kichu and sesjun (sergeant and rabbitfish),
keleguan agaafe and fletu (seacrab mixed with lemon and salt and fried sea
crab) and aliling (trochus) and of course fried chicken. All of this food
was prepared for Jun and I and his two brothers.
During our meal they expressed their sincere appreciation for our dropping
by to visit. But in essence, we were the ones gratified by the hospitality
and great food. If you want to make a comparison of our island meal to the
United States, just think of someone dropping by your house unannounced and
you preparing the choicest certified Angus Beef and Maine Lobster.
Part of the Chamorro culture involves giving of yourself without expecting
anything back in return. There is no invoice or receipt showing who owes
whom what. The only thing you can expect is that rest assured it will be
your turn to be a guest and the kind gestures you once displayed will be
reciprocated.
And oh…. Talayero to wife: Aren't you're friends coming over? Wife: yes,
T: I know you gals want to get into your "girl talk"…. I guess I have to go
fishing! (Talayero's fishing excuse #29)
Esta.
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